| # | Track | Duration |
|---|
| 1. | Dirty Dustin Hoffman Needs a Bath | 03:23 |
| 2. | Dustin Hoffman Gets a Bath | 02:42 |
| 3. | Dustin Hoffman Thinks About Eating the Soap | 04:31 |
| 4. | Dustin Hoffman Scrubs Too Hard and Loses Soap | 02:09 |
| 5. | Dustin Hoffman Does Not Resist Temptation to Eat the Bathtub | 03:18 |
| 6. | Dustin Hoffman's Wife Comes Home | 03:39 |
| 7. | Dustin Hoffman's Wife Seems Suspicious About the Absent Tub | 59 |
| 8. | Dustin Hoffman Feigns Ignorance of Missing Bathtub | 02:24 |
| 9. | Dustin Hoffman's Wife Calls in Detective to Dust for Porcelain Particles on Dustin Hoffman's Tongue | 02:20 |
| 10. | Dustin Hoffman's Tongue Taken to Police Lab Where It Is Used as Toilet Paper and Reading Material While on the Toilet | 01:13 |
| 11. | Dustin Hoffman Offers Lame Possible Explanation for Missing Bathtub | 03:49 |
| 12. | Dustin Hoffman's Wife Makes a Sarcastic Remark, Cuts the Head off a Duck, Places It Where the Tub Was and Begins to Growl | 01:28 |
| 13. | Dustin Hoffman Becomes Indignant and Wets Himself | 05:09 |
| 14. | Dustin Hoffman Quits Bathroom and Climbs a Tree | 02:25 |
| 15. | Dustin Hoffman's Children Enter the Bathroom | 03:47 |
| 16. | Dustin Hoffman's Children Don't Enter the Bathroom | 04:51 |